As our children progress through the various stages of growth and development, we often ask, either directly or indirectly, “What are you thinking?”
As we progress through our organizations and career paths, we may often look at others, i.e. colleagues, clients, customers, suppliers, etc, and think, “What are you thinking?”
Too often we may assume that the ‘others’ are, in fact, not thinking at all. And, of course, it is always true of the ‘others’, and rarely does it cross our minds that ‘they’ may be having similar thoughts, asking similar questions about something we’re doing.
What does all that mean in the life of your organization or in your own career?
I submit to you that perhaps we’re asking the wrong question? Or at the very least we’re asking the question based on negative assumptions instead of positive assumptions. Go ahead, admit it – when you first read that question the visual that came to you was of someone doing something really dumb, outlandish, or just plain wrong! For the accepted implication, in western culture, is generally that what we’re really thinking is “How could you possibly think that was a good idea?”
Perhaps better questions would be, “Can you tell me why you made that decision?” “Can you help me understand how this happened?” “What’s the rationale behind that technique or strategy?” In reality, what we really want to know is the ‘story’ behind the action or result.
Over the years we’ve all heard, experienced, and told many stories. More and more literature is being produced about the power and value of using stories in the workplace. Stephen Denning, Chip and Dan Heath, and Daniel Pink, to name a few authors have explained why traditional approaches of leadership communication don’t work. They have introduced the concept, in various ways, of ‘narrative intelligence’ – an ability to understand, act, and react agilely in the rapidly changing world of interactive narratives.
Denning says that the basis for ‘narrative intelligence’ is that leaders must tell the truth. Seems like a simple directive; unfortunately, it’s not one that is always followed. Too many folks have learned the lesson of ‘positive spin’ and ‘framing’ very well, much to the detriment of telling the truth. Actually, we learn it at an early age, as we are pushing the envelope with our parents and teachers, as we try to define the outer limits of what is acceptable.
I learned this as a teenager when my preacher father asked me where I was going on a weekend night. My stock answer was, “Out with my friends.” At the time we lived in a relatively small town with limited activities – school or church-related functions and a movie theater. For whatever reason, Daddy assumed that if there was nothing going on at church, I was probably going to the movies, an approved event. He also assumed that my mother had asked for more specifics; she assumed that since I said I’d talked with my dad; he had asked for more specifics. My statement – “Out with my friends.” – was factual, but it wasn’t the whole story. I was going to ‘recreational dances’ each weekend at the school, which were not ‘approved functions’ for the preacher’s daughter. Until my parents talked with each other and asked me for ‘the rest of the story’, I quite happily pushed the envelope beyond the boundaries.
If you’re not sharing the whole story with your team or not asking for the whole story behind various actions or results, your assumptions may be totally wrong or at the least, irrelevant. If your story is not the truth, you run the risk of losing credibility with your team at the very least; your job, business, and/or reputation at the most.
What are you thinking – about the stories you’re telling; about the stories you’re hearing?
