We live in a limitless world filled with limitations, which many of us think are too limiting.
Confused yet? Well, stick with me, because I think there’s something important in that statement, but it will take a bit of dissection.
From as early as I can remember, I heard from my parents, grandparents, other family members, teachers, and many others, “You can do and be anything you want. The possibilities are limitless.” Like most parents, I told my son the same thing. As a speaker, trainer, consultant, and coach, I’ve told audiences and clients around the planet, “You can take your career, your business, your organization wherever you want … the sky’s the limit.”
Many of us continue to believe that our world is limitless; limited only by our imagination, mindset and attitudes. Motivational speakers and writers, preachers and teachers, astronauts and politicians all sing from the same hymnbook, and the message remains constant, “We can say, do, or be whatever we want to say, do, or be within the parameters of ethics and morals, whether legislated or not.”
However, on the other hand, we hear different messages throughout our day: limited liability; limited partnerships; limited inventory/supplies; limited number remaining; limited data; limited access, to any number of goods or services; limited opportunities; limited time, and on and on the list goes.
Which is correct? Realistically, both. So how can we deal with the conundrum of a limitless world being filled with limiting limitations?
Perhaps one answer lies in our ability to NOT limit ourselves in terms of connecting and communicating, in having passion and persistence, in believing and trusting. Easier said than done more often than we care to admit. Perhaps as leaders we need to allow our influence to be more optimistic? It’s a thought!
The summer my son was 3, we moved to a different village in Alaska where we would be teaching in the fall. Situated on a river, in the shadow of that awesome mountain Denali, the village was bathed in bright sunlight. The mountain was a truly majestic sight, still covered with snow, glistening like a many faceted crystal, floating high above the clouds in a flawless blue sky.
Later that winter we learned how foreboding and unforgiving the mountain could be for climbers, hunters, and pilots of small aircraft caught in the changeable winds associated with a winter storm. But on this beautiful summer day, it was picture postcard perfect.
The school was located somewhat apart from the rest of village, on a bluff overlooking the river. Most of the villagers were away fishing, many of them camping at more fish-friendly places along the river. As an only child, Charley Bill was used to playing alone, and kept himself occupied for quite sometime, looking around the classrooms and our adjacent apartment.
Alaskan summer days being what they are – almost 24 hours long – he soon came back to where I was unpacking, complaining about there being no other kids around, and then he began the age-old litany of “What can I do? What can I play?”
I thought for a minute and said, “Why don’t you go back outside and yell across the river. Perhaps there’s another little boy over there who will answer you.”
Bustling with the importance and the challenge of a new task, he quickly marched back outside. Soon I heard him yelling “HELLO!” Then came the answering “HELLO.”
He yelled again, “WHAT’S YOUR NAME?” Then came the answering “WHAT’S YOUR NAME?”
Quickly I peeked around the corner of the classroom, not at all sure how he would handle that echoing response. He was confused and appeared to be muttering to himself as if to say, “That’s a silly thing to say. Why didn’t he just answer me?”
Not to be discouraged, however, he tried again, “WHERE DO YOU LIVE?” and yet again came the answering “WHERE DO YOU LIVE?”
Obviously upset he yelled, “I DON’T LIKE YOU!” “I DON’T LIKE YOU!” immediately came back to him. And then he yelled, “I HATE YOU!” And with no hesitation the response was heard, “I HATE YOU!”
Turning toward the school, he came running across the yard, crying great big crocodile tears.. Quickly I stepped outside, gathered him in my arms as he tearfully said, “Mom, that boy’s a mean kid. He said he didn’t like me.” I comforted him and then I said, “Maybe if you tried again, and this time told him you liked him and wanted to be his friend, he might have a different answer.”
Initially he didn’t think much of my idea, intuitively recognizing my influence as limited. After a while however, he ambled back to the same spot overlooking the river. He stomped around a bit, kicked the ground and threw a few rocks into the river as little boys do. Finally he gathered up the courage to yell once again, “HELLO!” “HELLO!”
“I’M 3 YEARS OLD.” “I’M 3 YEARS OLD.”
“I LIKE YOU!” “I LIKE YOU!”
“LET’S BE FRIENDS!” “LET’S BE FRIENDS!”
Before I knew it, he was whoopin’ and hollerin,’ barely able to contain himself as he ran back to where I was standing. “Mom,” he yelled, “he likes me! He wants to be my friend!”
In the meantime, several of the families had arrived back from their fishing spots. Shortly after that, one of the little boys from the village, who apparently had heard all the yelling, came running up to the school to see what was going on. He and Charley Bill immediately hit it off and were soon playing together, accepting in the “magical” way of children, that this was the natural result of Charley Bill’s shouted messages across the river.
The lesson is not limited to small children. Its ramifications are truly limitless. Connections are always there for us to make, regardless of the medium or the presupposed obstacles. It is up to us to make the connections positive and influential, expecting to receive positive reinforcement in return.
Pre-pandemic, I spent several hours in the Los Angeles airport because of bad weather, delayed and canceled flights. Over several hours you can make a lot of connections, and in those particular circumstances, they aren’t always positive.
One elderly gentleman however, struck up a conversation with me. He was undaunted by the lengthy wait, excited because it was his first trip to Las Vegas. During our conversation he asked me if I was a “magician’s assistant” in Las Vegas. He assured me in the process that I was certainly pretty enough to be one.
With thanks, I said, “No,” and then explained that I was going to Las Vegas to do some workshops for a credit union. I told him we were going to talk about communication and how to provide better service. He thought for a moment and then said, “Darlin’ if you could do one of them-there workshops at my financial institution and get those folks to smile more often, that truly would be “magic.”
The connections we make are important; the opportunities to make them are limitless. Therefore our influence has the potential to be limitless as well, living on after the connection (We call that legacy!). Our businesses and personal relationships depend on them being “magical,” not limited by our own prejudices or biases. Our ability to make them “magic” comes through the influence that we provide by sharing ourselves and our stories with others.
It’s been said that you can give without serving, but you can’t serve without giving. Our challenge is to not limit our service because we limit our opportunities to connect, share and provide lasting/limitless influence.
In a world of limitless horizons, are you, your business, your organization taking advantage of all the opportunities to connect? Are you helping others to communicate, to see the possibilities rather than the limitations? Are you sharing your passion and your stories with persistence and optimism? What messages are you sending? What influence are you providing?
